Alcohol-free Living Gifts

"Sometimes I think, why am I here? What's the point?"

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

There are many potent chemicals on the market...but private theories are often prefered.

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

'Fair play, Bill always knows when he's had enough.'

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

"About time!"

"Maybe we should just go ahead and have a kid."

Go-Fund-Me for Start-Up into Alcohol Research

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Alex Higgins

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

New Milks

"Spring cleaning ALREADY?"

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"So she left you. Maybe it wasn't your fault. Sometimes circumstances are beyond your lack of self-control."

Portrait of 'Our founder' at Alcoholics Anonymous is a drunk.

"Surely you remember my husband?... You may not recognise him standing up."

Alcohol Guideline Amounts: Yobs 304 units.

Drink Driving

I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping. Is your whipped hand-sanitizer organic? Totally. There's not a thing in it that can possibly hurt you. Can you BOIL the cookie just to be sure? That'll be extra.

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

"What do you mean I drink too much!"

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

"Don't look left or right!"

"Surely a total abstainer would abstain from abstention?"

"I'd lay off the booze, mate."

'Travel club for alcoholics.'

Tee-totalitarian

Drink is a curse.