Album Collectors Gifts

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Robert Fripp

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"What are you doing?"

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Music & Gym'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Robert Drake

So close... Yet so far.

Gramaphone Man.

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

Islington Angels.

Doug tries to impress his blind date with his expansive collection of Charo CDs.

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

When old rockers trash hotel rooms.

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

At the CD shop.

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

'This is Ian, my new boyfriend. Did I mention he was a record holder?'

His master's voice

"That's two days after you were born."

Baroque Bach Mountain

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

The Beatles

'Why is so much easy listening so difficult to listen to?'

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Music. Sale Pop. Sale Bin. Wow! They're practically giving away these CD's from the 80's! Cher prices have plummeted!

Whacked music.

'You have a wonderfully tidy mind, Diane!'

'Sorry, we don't stock Sheryl Crow.'