Album Art Collector Gifts

Nevermind the Irony

Flabby Road.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Robert Fripp

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"Caricatures $20"

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"I read 'Art News.'"

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"What are you doing?"

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."