Airport Drama Lover Gifts

Customs.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Airport

Mass Travel

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

The Problem with the TSA

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

Kennedy Airport

"I understand O'Hara had to re-route some of their flights today."

Now Arriving

I brake for Jetliners.

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

"We're down from 50,000 cases a day to two."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

"I always get stuck in the wrong line."

"Daddy likes to be really... really early for flights."

'Madam, I think you may have made a mistake.'