Airport Drama Lover Pillows

Customs.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Mass Travel

Airport

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

The Problem with the TSA

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Kennedy Airport

"We're down from 50,000 cases a day to two."

Now Arriving

"I understand O'Hara had to re-route some of their flights today."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

I brake for Jetliners.

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

"I always get stuck in the wrong line."

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."