Airport Antics Lover Gifts

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Dog scan.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Mass Travel

"Hell: The Airport"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

The Problem with the TSA

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'

Baggage Reclaim

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"It's my emotional support animal."

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Excess Baggage

"Can you just fetch our red ones, dear?"

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

'Those set it off everytime.'

Lost Baggage Claims

"No luggage."

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"