Airport Antics Appreciator Gifts

'No! No! No! You're supposed to be looking for bombs, not tennis balls! Bombs!'

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Vampire on a plane

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Basic economy

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Secretary

The Problem with the TSA

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Baggage Reclaim

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Lost Baggage Claims

"What are you doing?!"

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

"No luggage."

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.

people standing in a briefcase.

Santa Security Check

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

Excess Baggage: You are old enough to remember when folks got all dressed up to travel.

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'