Airport Antics Gifts

"I'm afraid I'll have to fondle that chicken, m'am."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

The Problem with the TSA

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Arrivals, Purgatory, Departures.

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport security - next step?

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"Just barking will do."

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

Baggage Reclaim

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Uh Oh...

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

Lost Baggage Claims

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

TSA Patdowns

"No luggage."