Airport Antics Gifts

"I'm afraid I'll have to fondle that chicken, m'am."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The Problem with the TSA

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Airport security - next step?

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Arrivals, Purgatory, Departures.

Baggage Reclaim

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Uh Oh...

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

"No luggage."

Lost Baggage Claims

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.