Airport Antics Specialist Gifts

Lost Baggage Claims

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

The Problem with the TSA

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Skiing Holiday

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Baggage Reclaim

Airport Security. Sir, one of your tubs is empty. That one's got my dignity!

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

"I like to come out here and watch planes sit on the tarmac for hours, then see everyone get kicked off and rebooked for tomorrow."

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

Carr. Smith. Pepper Oni. Gate.

"No luggage."

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

Santa Security Check

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'