Airlines Gifts

'The advertised very low off-peak rate is for February 29th only.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Passengers leaving commercial airlines for charter ones.

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"Now you've told everyone how importatn you are, would you like an upgrade to first class and a complimentary foot massage?"

"So this is the economy flight seating you booked?"

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Ryanair refunds

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Excess Baggage: The concept of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Airline Frequent Flyer Charges

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Sir, before boarding would you two be interested in upgrading your seats to seats?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

'I'm wearing my two carry ons.'

I'm sorry, sir, but your luggage was deemed offensive and destroyed.

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

Mega*Air. Ohh, sorry, sir. With a round trip ticket the frequent flyer miles cancel each other out.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"No luggage."

"Frankly, your kindness and understanding are only making matters worse!"

"But having less legroom puts you closer to your screen."

Airlines

'What zip code are we in now?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building