Air Travel Gifts

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

"We should have read the fine print more carefully before buying these cheap airfares."

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...

The flight is only 99p but it will cost another ?120 if you want to do it inside the plane.

"I got my ticket for three dollars over the Internet. Are you going to eat that salmon?"

'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'

"O.K. just one more item. Who gets the frequent-flier miles?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"It's ten to five. Please raise your seatback to its full upright and locked position."

Prison on an airplane

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

People looking worried, sad and angry wait at the Emotional Baggage Carousel

'This is your captain speaking, it seems that we've finally made it through the worst of the turbulence'

'Any luggage to check...? Then we'll be charging you a $25 'no bag' fee.'

'I've outlived another airline.'

'Mayday, mayday, we have lost control.'

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

"It's mine—and I'd appreciate your not looking out of it."

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

'Would you like to buy a bag for life, and help save the environment?'

TSA Lines

'30,000 feet! That's not above the ozone layer is it?.'

Letter reads: OK, we'll be good. Can we come out?

'You've got to admire their candor.'

"Isn't that other plane awfully close?"

'All your luggage is lost, but apparently you still have plenty of baggage.'

Cowboys and cattle traveling on an airplane.

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

Airline concerns.

Angels waiting at baggage reclaim for their harps.

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

Baggage Arrivals - Lone suitcase, woman crying 'Oh Darling! It's been so long...'