Air Travel Ace Gifts

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Fight or Flight

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Airplane Mode.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Why Superman flies himself

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Two airplanes

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Look, honey. Tiny bales of hay."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."