Air Travel Ace Gifts

Airlines à la Carte

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Fight or Flight

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Airplane Mode.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Why Superman flies himself

Two airplanes

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"Look, honey. Tiny bales of hay."