Air Traveler Gifts

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"I think, therefore I am...or am I?..."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Fight or Flight

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Airplane Mode.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Vaccination Passport

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Why Superman flies himself

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

A white collar cow.