Flight Traveler Gifts

"Comfort guaranteed, I'll even throw in a pair of compression socks."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

A white collar cow.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Anything to declare?'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

US Airlines

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'Termites!'

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'Father maybe gone some time.'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'