Air Traveler T-Shirts

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"I think, therefore I am...or am I?..."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Fight or Flight

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Airplane Mode.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Vaccination Passport

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

A white collar cow.

Why Superman flies himself

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

"Look, honey. Tiny bales of hay."