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Bidding

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The Scanner Of Love.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Disinformation booth.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

We never fly anywhere anymore.

'What a bargain!'

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."

'Termites!'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

Pirates on holiday.

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

A clown rides in a hot air balloon animal.

'I'm not waiting for luggage; I just bring the kids here to play.'

Asian Adventure Vacations