Airport Experience Explorer T-Shirts

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

Disinformation booth.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

Airport

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'