Hotel Experience Explorer T-Shirts

'Sure. They advertise luxury rooms, but you get there, and they all have bathtubs.'

Paris Hilton

'...Please stop the...'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Hotel mini-bar.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'What a bargain!'

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

'No luggage.'

"These were taken on some of my favorite layovers."

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."

The mint on the pillow? Why it's complimentary my dear, Watson!

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Hi, it's me. We just landed."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

The wine and water lists.

You are here.

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'

Diners see restaurant signs; Grade A meals and Meals Without Comments.

At the NRA lounge.

"Well, finally!!"

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'

'We believe in treating all our customers as individuals...this, for example, is individual no 76/KLC/PO/2387A.'

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

"Great food here, but the service is slow!"

Goldilocks to bears: 'I thought it was a bed and breakfast.'

Easter Island Candles.

Cheap Bikes For Rent. They'll give you more adventure than you want without even going off road.

"Relax. You're the one who wanted to stay at a theme resort"

"You must be at least this thick to go on this ride."

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'