Motel Explorer T-Shirts

'Could I change the name of Apt. 4B to 'Windemere Acres'?'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Fist Bumper Cars

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

I love the Shard

There is No Planet C

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

East End Maps.

Haute Chinese

Tunnel of Whale Guts

'...Please stop the...'

Bankside

"Rockefeller Center."

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"More croutons, sir?"

'Under the Trees- Regent's Park'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The Scenic Route

'What a bargain!'