Airline Policies Gifts

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"How's my tripping you up?"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

Do it! Because I say so: 'I'm not sure I like the new company slogan.'

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

"It's a new bank policy, sir - Transactions under $500 just aren't worth our while."

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

'With my frequent flyer miles I was able to get a seat upgrade from the luggage compartment.'

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"sir, this flight is overbooked and we need your seat. We can do this the easy way or...I can hit this ejection button."

"But having less legroom puts you closer to your screen."