We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.
Company Policies Gifts
Looking for a fun way to acknowledge company policies or add some humor to your office space? Our collection features clever, light-hearted products that highlight workplace rules and culture. From mugs to wall prints, these items make compliance and policy updates a little more enjoyable. Share a laugh with colleagues or give a thoughtful gift to someone who appreciates humor in the workplace—because sometimes, policies need a little levity.
'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'
'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'
Do it! Because I say so: 'I'm not sure I like the new company slogan.'
"It's not a bad company policy manual, but I'd draft some stronger limits on sick pay."
"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."
"Good boy."
"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"
Foreign Markets with Big Barriers
US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.
"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."
'It's not easy being green on grass!'
"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."
'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'
"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."
Our Two Parties, Explained
'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'
Trump leaving
It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.
"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"
'The recession is over, again.'
Roe v. Wade
Think Tank
Economy
'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'
"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"
'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'
Sybil Obama
"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."
Pre-Old Blues
Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.
"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."
'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'
'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'
survival of the fittest
Company Policies Gifts Collection
Company Policies Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs with witty company policy quotes—great for office coffee breaks and morning routines.
Company Policies Pillows
Add humor and comfort with pillows featuring clever company policy messages—perfect for livening up your office or home workspace.
Company Policies Prints
Decorate your office with prints that humorously highlight company policies—an ideal addition to meeting rooms or break areas.
Company Policies T-Shirts
Check out our humorous t-shirts that make light of workplace policies—ideal for casual office days and fun gift ideas.