Business Policies Gifts

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

Hate Platforms

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Trump leaving

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Our Two Parties, Explained

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Roe v. Wade

'The recession is over, again.'

Think Tank

Economy

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Sybil Obama

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

Pre-Old Blues

social services cuts

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'