Government Policies Gifts

Office of Management and Budget and Mandatory Cuts

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'Remember the NHS ethos; if it ain't broke, break it. Then make sure it can't be mended.'

'But aren't hand grenades supposed to be dangerous?'

"It drives me crazy when people whine about discrepancies in school funding..."

'This is a really low budget approach to stopping illegal immigration.'

OFSTED

"Government means testing has been keeping me nice and warm this winter."

'We've enough money for next year if we cancel February.'

'You're a show-off Cameron!'

The Invisible Man

'Spare change? Help the government throw money at the economy.'

'We're celebrating you, Mister Small Business...so I brought you a gift!'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

If you put lipstick on a pig it is still a pig.

The farmers piece of the pie chart.

"No one is sure, but the rumor is he takes directions from the fed on when to raise or lower interest rates."

"Well, it's better than nothing."

'You did yes say a budgie was coming on!'

Tories To Scrap Inheritance Tax - 'Oh no! We've just spent it all.'

Famous Pieces of Paper

Obama and California.

The Recession Hole.

Homeland security authorities...proper...improper.

The Canadian government trashes both the long-format census and long-format gun registry.

Stephen Harper's daring rescue bid.

''No tarball left behind' sounds good, but will it work?'

"I had to leave California, their progressive policies were killing me."

"I'm sorry, congressman, but Mrs. Grebbish gets a bit testy when somebody proposes to mess with her social security and medicare...."

UK Government Apologises For The Limited Availability Of Forward Planning.

'Have beer and fags gone up yet?'

'As a Christian... I know your federal government should provide for you!'

Seven Economic Plans to Save Everybody. . . 'Any questions?'

'This was a nice quiet corner before those austerity measures kicked in.'

The following budget summary may upset those of a nervous disposition.