Company Policies Pillows

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

Do it! Because I say so: 'I'm not sure I like the new company slogan.'

"It's not a bad company policy manual, but I'd draft some stronger limits on sick pay."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Our Two Parties, Explained

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Trump leaving

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'The recession is over, again.'

Roe v. Wade

Think Tank

Economy

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Sybil Obama

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Pre-Old Blues

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

survival of the fittest