Corporate Policies Pillows

"I think I should warn you that the flip side of our generous bonus-incentive program is capital punishment."

"Do you have a data protection officer?"

'Employee drug testing has gone too far.'

"Our disciplinary action process has made positive strides, but still has a long way to go."

'Huggins, our goal is to go green, so we're replacing you with this plant.'

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

'It's this annual, two week, non-paid, working vacation, I have questions about.'

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

"In the end, they're jut like the other banks!"

'This can't be! Company policy strictly forbids quarterly loses.'

'Uh, boss...can you figure out why our health plan includes dental coverage from one of your competitors?'

David won't be in today. He's been in an accident. Did he give notice?

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'You are allowed to have a tattoo as long as it's of the company logo.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'You're employed here. That's a fireable offense.'

A quick look at the ever-evolving "social contract" between business and employees.

'If we set a precedent here the whole company will want to work from home.'

"Just a friendly reminder - looking at pictures of loved ones is limited to three minutes per day."

"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Trump leaving

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'