Airline Executive Gifts

"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."

'This is your captain speaking. Transatlantic airways has just been absorbed by Aero Argentina. Thus, instead of landing in London, we will touch down in Buenos Aires.'

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

'In the event the cabin loses pressure, masks will automatically drop from above, providing oxygen--at $5.95/minute.'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

Arrivals, departrures, bankruptcies

Standing room only on aircraft.

'Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the latest Airbus!'

Safest Airline in The World

'On behalf of Charter Airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"Let me get this straight...your airline lets you layover in Hawaii for 24 hours and they trust you to come back?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Airline Mergers

Iberia Airline Cuts.

'This ladies and gentlemen is our business model.'

Aviation cuts.

"The airline's in trouble, isn't it?"

'My job is to make decisions around here, Hoskins. Your job is to make them fly!'

Haves and Have Nots.

Warning Sign Airline

BOEING Suspends Flights.

Airlines: Arrivals/Departures. . . Number of Boeing 737 Max Planes Grounded: 500

Airline Bailout

Air Industry

Boeing Invents the time machine...

"Today only, Mr. Hardly, when you buy one 737 MAX airliner at our special price, we'll throw in a second 737 MAX absolutely free."

'Wow, when this airline bumps you off, they do it in style!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Can't We All Overbook?

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

Infuriating. What? The airlines are starting to charge for coffee, tea, water, even pillows and blankets. This upsets you? They are so cheap. So amazingly frugal. Charging for water - in a captive airplane! They're making me look terrible. We must raise our bar. Comprehension.

With jet engine noise, an airline is a high-volume business. And because we fly at 30,000 feet, it's not a low-overhead operation.

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'We had to lop off part of the airline to cut costs.'