Airline Ceo Gifts

"Today only, Mr. Hardly, when you buy one 737 MAX airliner at our special price, we'll throw in a second 737 MAX absolutely free."

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'Bring me some more power.'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

Executive with desk-boxes 'get rich' and 'get even'.

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Airline Mergers.

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Safest Airline in The World

Terrorism premium on every barrel of oil.

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'We harbour few illusions here at Megatron Inc.'

Fired Big Shots Who's Who.

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."