Airline Managers Gifts

We'll drive to Chicago, change cars, drive to Atlanta, change cars, drive to St. Louis, change cars, then we'll drive to Orlando. Car trips with airline managers.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"He likes it."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

My brilliant career

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

Employee of the Month Parking

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'