Airline Managers Gifts

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"He likes it."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

My brilliant career

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

Employee of the Month Parking

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."