Aviation Manager Gifts

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'In the event the cabin loses pressure, masks will automatically drop from above, providing oxygen--at $5.95/minute.'

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

With jet engine noise, an airline is a high-volume business. And because we fly at 30,000 feet, it's not a low-overhead operation.

'...despite the recession the aviation industry is still expanding...'

Small planes, fine...but I'd be a bit more careful with big planes.'

Boeing Invents the time machine...

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Polluted geese

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Employee of the Month Parking

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'I work at the airport.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Airline Mergers.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

Safest Airline in The World

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Belarus Hijacks Ryanair Plane

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot