Aviation Officer Gifts

" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."

Fighter Jet Sneeze

The World Wide Web.

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Two airplanes

Airliner

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Airline Mergers.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

'Could be worse, Bunny. At least we're not flying on one of those.'

"It beats flying for your food."

Safest Airline in The World

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot

Deicing on the cake.

Belarus Hijacks Ryanair Plane

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Going to Work. . .Coming Home