Aviation Professionals Gifts

Freaking Out at the Airport

"Ask someone with a smartphone - which gate is ours?"

We think it will prevent bird collisions!

Coptercade.

US bans laptops and mobiles on planes

"Wanda, you're a month early for your appointment...again."

US Airlines on Thin Ice

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

The World Wide Web.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Airliner

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Airline Mergers.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

Safest Airline in The World

'Could be worse, Bunny. At least we're not flying on one of those.'

"It beats flying for your food."

Deicing on the cake.

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List