Aviation Industry Professional Gifts

"I can having that dream where I can fly."

'Wow! You get a great view of the retreating icecaps from up here.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'We've recently adopted the full aviation model.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Please remain seated, we're waiting for clearance to resume our flight."

"Air travel is contributing to climate change..."

A hand reaching frantically out a lavatory door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away.

"Ladies and gentlemen: because of a few small financial reverses, we'll be flying 'belly up' today."

The End of the A380 Superjumbo

Elephant at Airport Security

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Two airplanes

Airliner

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Airline Mergers.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."