Aviation Safety Manager Gifts

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Two airplanes

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'I work at the airport.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

A hand reaching frantically out a lavatory door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away.

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Boeing Invents the time machine...

Flight Crew Holiday Treats

Seatbelt hangs out from the airplane door.

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

The End of the A380 Superjumbo

Airplanes have to limit the noise pollution at landing

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

Santa's Near Miss

Cluster Catastrophe

"Please remain seated, we're waiting for clearance to resume our flight."

'Wow! You get a great view of the retreating icecaps from up here.'

Acme Clocks.