Aviation Safety Manager Gifts

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Two airplanes

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'I work at the airport.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

A hand reaching frantically out a lavatory door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away.

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

The End of the A380 Superjumbo

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

Airplanes have to limit the noise pollution at landing

Boeing Invents the time machine...

Flight Crew Holiday Treats

Seatbelt hangs out from the airplane door.

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

Santa's Near Miss

'Wow! You get a great view of the retreating icecaps from up here.'

Acme Clocks.

"Please remain seated, we're waiting for clearance to resume our flight."