Safety Manager Gifts

'No, we will not be starting with a safety brief today.'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Elf and Safety Days = 0.

Cluster Catastrophe

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

'Eddie, I'l taking you out of big oil and putting your money into Hazmat suits.'

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

I'm the workers safety manager, ...the only place in this company where you get in touch with ugly and dangerous substances is when you eat your meal in the canteen!

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Job Safety - Hockey Pool.

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"What happened to your head?"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

Crash Test Dummy Blues

Safety Barriers

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'