New Role In Safety Management Gifts

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Office meeting

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

The role of administration.

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

The little engine that could delegate.

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'What can we do about this leadership course?'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

"I'm a big believer in micromanagement."

"I've made many bad decisions, not all of them are going to be popular."

"I think, Hayward, one can just slow down and still smell the roses."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"You like to take credit for other people's successes, and blame others for your mistakes. Woodly, you have management potential!"

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"Thank goodness, it was only 'light' reading..."

"This seems to work better for us!"

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

'I'm not one to criticize. I have people for that.'