Safety Management Gifts

Quality Control

99.99% Isn't Good Enough

'Let's ignore the flashing fuel gauge and concentrate on the landing gear, shall we? Over...'

'I asked you to spread GRIT on our icy path...'

'How long were you safety officer at the nuclear reactor?'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

On the brink.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"We need a union!'

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'