Airline Executive Pillows

"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."

'This is your captain speaking. Transatlantic airways has just been absorbed by Aero Argentina. Thus, instead of landing in London, we will touch down in Buenos Aires.'

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

'In the event the cabin loses pressure, masks will automatically drop from above, providing oxygen--at $5.95/minute.'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

Arrivals, departrures, bankruptcies

Standing room only on aircraft.

'Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the latest Airbus!'

Safest Airline in The World

'On behalf of Charter Airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"Let me get this straight...your airline lets you layover in Hawaii for 24 hours and they trust you to come back?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Airline Mergers

'This ladies and gentlemen is our business model.'

Aviation cuts.

"The airline's in trouble, isn't it?"

'My job is to make decisions around here, Hoskins. Your job is to make them fly!'

Haves and Have Nots.

Warning Sign Airline

Airlines: Arrivals/Departures. . . Number of Boeing 737 Max Planes Grounded: 500

Boeing Invents the time machine...

"Today only, Mr. Hardly, when you buy one 737 MAX airliner at our special price, we'll throw in a second 737 MAX absolutely free."

'Wow, when this airline bumps you off, they do it in style!'

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'We had to lop off part of the airline to cut costs.'

"...and we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of champagne to all those passengers who agree to go quietly in case of overbooking."

Bag Men

'We're downsizing.'

Airline CEO carrying case with stickers reading 'The Bank'.

Buying Airplanes (New or Used)

'Folks, the airline regrets the crash, but it will provide you a life jacket at one hundred dollars each.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

Bag Men