Air Stewardess Gifts

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

Buh-Bye!

'Honey, are you going to locate the exits every morning?'

'Before you 'hop-off'... you left your false leg on the 'plane, sir!'

"When I said to turn off all electronic devices, I didn't mean you!"

"The garlic fries were free, OK?"

"So where are you off to today Wanda?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Ohmygosh a bucket of perfect ice, how did you know?!"

Breaking up with a flight attendant

'Uh Oh - looks like another unhappy flight attendant.'

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'God was my co-pilot, but I was distracted by the stewardesses.'

'One grande All-Nighter with room?!'

'Turbulence. That's ok, I'm used to it. I'm married.'

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!

"We've landed safely sir, can I have my knickers back?"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'What zip code are we in now?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Fight or Flight

"Would you like some wings?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

TSA Noah

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'