Air Hostesses Gifts

'This is your captain speaking...Goodbye.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'What zip code are we in now?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Wine Lady

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Airport Security.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Cardiac Recovery.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

A private jet takes off

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"