Air Steward Gifts

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'Cheryl, not so loud please. Everyone's paying attention!'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

Cabin crew dilemma

'The airline's in trouble, isn't it?'

'And stay out!'

'You may get up and collect your carry-ons as soon as I'm timed out and illegal to work tomorrow.'

"The garlic fries were free, OK?"

Hot dogs

"Yeah, I can't make it in today. I've some kind of weird red rash all over my body."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Bev always got her pens back.

Breaking up with a flight attendant

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"We've landed safely sir, can I have my knickers back?"

"And in the event of a water landing, I'll start screaming my f*****g head off."

'What zip code are we in now?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Would you like some wings?"

Fight or Flight

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

TSA Noah

The World Wide Web.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World's Easiest Airport

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"