Steward Gifts

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

'Happy New Year!'

'I don't think we have to worry about anyone stealing our St. Joseph's-bread wine glass idea.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

'A Stewardess's Cupboard.' On a shelf are a Jar of COFFEE, a tin of TEA, and a box of ME.

"Hi Stan, this is scheduling. Today we're sending you to places no one wants to go, on a day no one wants to work, with people no one wants to fly with."

"Does Bev always pack her own food?"

"Would you like some wings?"

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Insect extinction

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Solar Power.

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

Better Do SomethingAbout Climate Change

"No, still there."

"The loud engine might wake her up. Can you ask the pilot to turn it off?"