Steward T-Shirts

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'

A sign at a restaurant - Food left unattended will be eaten by the waiter.

'Happy New Year!'

'I don't think we have to worry about anyone stealing our St. Joseph's-bread wine glass idea.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Fitzroy, the sea is a bit too cold to swim in. Would you please go and get the immersion heater?'

'A Stewardess's Cupboard.' On a shelf are a Jar of COFFEE, a tin of TEA, and a box of ME.

"Hi Stan, this is scheduling. Today we're sending you to places no one wants to go, on a day no one wants to work, with people no one wants to fly with."

"Does Bev always pack her own food?"

"Would you like some wings?"

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Insect extinction

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Solar Power.

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

"The loud engine might wake her up. Can you ask the pilot to turn it off?"

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"No, still there."

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.