Air Hostess Gifts

"No, you're not in a box. You're in an exit row. And I need you to acknowledge that verbally."

'More DVT vicar?'

Multiple panels showing a flight attendant's luggage on different lengths of a working trip.

Buh-Bye!

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

Setting Cabin Temperature

Crash Pad Space Available!

'Honey, are you going to locate the exits every morning?'

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

'Please, don't take this personally.'

Cabin crew dilemma

'Babe! It's me! This isn't a layover!'

'Mind the gap...oh yeah, and the crocodiles!'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Airport

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Departure/Arrival

Starting Service . . . Ending Service

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"They're flight attendants."

"Please tell me you're blind."

"Please tell me exactly which country, city and time zone I just woke up in today."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

"There! Just like new!"

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"They loved me, couldn't get enough of me...Europe, Asia, U.S.! Then all of a sudden --WHAM! I'm out on the street...grounded."

'One grande All-Nighter with room?!'

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'Folks, the airline regrets the crash, but it will provide you a life jacket at one hundred dollars each.'

"I assure you sir, this bag is used exclusively for first-class trash."

"And in the event of a water landing, I'll start screaming my f*****g head off."

Flight attendants' night out.