Party Hostess Gifts

Wine Lady

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Join me in a Martini?

Party time.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Barbecue

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

An angry barbecue.

Mini Bar

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

Come dine with me!

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'