House Party Host Gifts

Papi's idea of a good father vs. Baldo's idea of a good father: house parties.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Wine Lady

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Join me in a Martini?

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Barbecue

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'