Crafty Party Host Gifts

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Wine Lady

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Pinata Trophies

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Mini Bar

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

"My bouche was not amused."

"'Host' and Cheese?"

'He's been shot!'

Roller Coasters

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

A Good Year.

Please Leave by 9

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'