Party Hosting Gifts

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"It's not the noise, Sir. It's the Camembert."

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

Man in top hat at a cocktail party.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

'Everyone wants Perrier with a twist of lime.'

'Mom! Someone left the lid off my snake cage and guess what!?'

Fire Brigade Chiefs Annual Dinner

'Please try not to offer expert analysis.'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'Hilda, what gets wine out again, is it club soda?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"That has to be the largest wedding cake I've ever seen. Just how many guests did they invite?"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Forget the artwork. . . who makes these martinis?!"

Zorbing party.

"No way! I've been to one barbecue but never again."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'Every Hallowe'en barbeque he goes way over the top!'

Wine and Cheese

"So what the heck am I? Chopped liver?"

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Avocado Toast

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"I've told you again and again, don't tell people about the time we had mauve wall paper."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"I don't pout when we invite people you've slept with."

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

Overfilling the Glass

An expedition to get ice for the party.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Wine Lady

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"