Host/hostess Gifts

"Er – may you?

Tartine

Come dine with me!

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'What zip code are we in now?'

Wine Lady

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Canape?

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Horn of Leftovers

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'So glad you could make it! Do come in...'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Join me for dinner?

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."