Hostess With The Mostess Gifts

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'What zip code are we in now?'

Wine Lady

Cardiac Recovery.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Pinata Trophies

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Mini Bar

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Countess

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

Roller Coasters

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'He's been shot!'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Come dine with me!

Compulsive Christmas Caterer!