Lazy Hostess Gifts

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Soup of the month.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

How lazy people decide what to eat

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"Fridge-to-table"

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

Come dine with me!

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Compulsive Christmas Caterer!

'You just had to tell them to make themselves at home!'

"I've got reservations for this evening."

'Main Street or Wall Street?'

The Sedentary Dead.

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"It requires so much less work than a dog."